Of Pickles and Ice Cream
by MissWitterstrand
Summary: [TsuJir] Surprise for the Sannin!  When you're 20 years old, a lot can happen.  Especially when you're an temperamental blonde and the whitehaired lecher.  I wonder what this surprise will do to this couple.  [R&R]
1. And So it Begins

**w00t this will roxas your soxas**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Tsunade and Jiraiya**

How to tell him. . . That was the problem. Tsunade's amber eyes gazed upon Jiraiya as he looked out upon the village. _Jesus Christ. . . look what I've gone and done now._ _Stupid, Tsunade! Very, very stupid!_ She sighed. "Jiraiya?" she called, her voice a bit shaky, and trying to find the words that wouldn't come.

"What is it, Hime?" He asked, his white hair glinting in the moonlight.

"I-I have something very important to tell you, and you may not like it." she said sternly.

"Is everything alright?" he asked as his ebony eyes peered down at her. Those same eyes that peered down at her just a few months ago. More than any eye ever saw her. "It would depend on your definition." she murmured. They were still young, and now look what happened. She's standing here and trying so desperately to figure out exactly how to say it.

"I'm pregnant." she blurted out, and then burst into tears of relief. His eyes widened and the only noise heard from on top of the Hokage mountain was her sobs. She felt his strong arms wrap around her, and his lips on her blonde head. "If it upsets you this much, you don't have to-"

"No, that's not it at all!" she whined into his chest. "I just didn't know what you'd think."

"What I'd think? I think I'm somewhere between ecstatic and scared shit-less."

"That makes two of us." she giggled slightly.

"You know, you used to hate me, and now-"

"Shut up, you idiot." she scoffed. Her head buried further in his neck. "Jesus, I was so scared of what you'd say."

* * *

Tsunade paced around her room. _Okay, breast sensitivity. _She felt her very full bust. "Ow!" she yelped. _Check. Cravings? Not check. Nausea? Check. _She'd thrown up the past three days. _Mood Swings? Nope, same old temper. _She shrugged. "Just a late period is all. Nothing to worry about." 

She went downstairs and grabbed some cake from the fridge. "Mm, Cake." she murmured, as she got a fork and took a bite. "Oh, god. It's like an orgy in my mouth, man."

"Um, sister?" Her little brother asked. He was eating his cereal.

"What is it, Nawaki?" She said.

"Why are you eating cake? You hate sweets."

Tsunade just about choked on her last bite. "Oh my god you're right!" She sputtered, and her brother patted her back. After her coughing fit she burst into tears. "Tsunade-neechan! Don't cry it's just cake."

"Nawaki, it's not the cake, dammit! The fact that I hate cake and I ate it is the problem! Oh god. I just went from happy to sad to angry to worried. Oh shit."

"What's wrong, Nee-chan?" Nawaki asked.

"Remember that night Jiraiya came over?"

"Oh yeah, ew. You know, you two are very loud."

"That's not the point! I think I'm pregnant."

Nawaki's eyes widened. "You should go to the doctor, Nee-chan."

"The doctor? You want me to go to the doctor? What should I say? Let's think 'Hi! I think I might be pregnant' should be shouted for all the world to hear because god knows when the VILLAGE finds out I'm pregnant everyone will have a hay-day anyway."

"Just be discreet about it then. You aren't showing, yet, and you know most medics anyway."

Tsunade crossed her arms over her chest. "Goddamn it all."

"No one has to know except me, Jiraiya, and the third hokage. Well, at least until you start getting bigger."

"You've got a point." she sighed. "I guess I'll be going then." She walked out of the kitchen.

"Be careful, Nee-chan."

"I will, Nawaki."

The boy hugged his sister's waist. "Jiraiya can even move in, if that's what you want. I don't mind."

She smiled warmly and patted his head. "Thanks, Nawaki." She stepped from her house, and made her way to the hospital.

"Tsunade!" a young woman called from behind the desk. "What're you doing here? It's your day off."

"I know, but I just need to make a tiny appointment."

"An appointment? For what? You've never been sick a day in your life."

Tsunade tried to think of a quick excuse. "I-I just..."

Another doctor walked out from a door behind the desk and waved at the blonde. "Hey there, Tsunade."

"Oh!" Tsunade exclaimed. _She can definately help_ Tsunade thought. She knew this doctor very well. "Are you busy."

"No, not at all. What do you need?"

The temperamental blonde grabbed the other woman by the arm and dragged her to the hallway. "I think I may be pregnant." she said.

"What-"

"Shut up! I need this to be low-key. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. So you want me to confirm for you?"

"Would you?"

"Of course, Tsunade." The doctor grinned, and led her down a hallway. "Shit," Tsunade cursed because there in said hallway was Jiraiya. "I am so fucked."

"Hey, Tsunade-Hime." Jiraiya greeted. She bit her lip. He wore that Jounin turtleneck that made him look so gorgeous. Probably the main reason she had sex with him. Although, she did like Jiraiya, a lot. More than a lot. She found herself loving that idiot. But what would he say if she was pregnant? _Holy shit, don't think about it._

"Hi, Jiraiya. . ." she said trying not to sound dreadful.

"What're you doing here, don't you have the day off?"

"Just an appointment."

"You never told me about an appointment with, well, THAT." he gestured to the door her friend had walked in. Everyone knew you only went in that room for your genitalia to be checked out. One of her mood swings kicked in.

"Well, god, do I have to tell you everything?!" she shouted.

"No, I just-"

"Good! I like to keep some things private!" she finished as she stomped into the room. The white-haired man just stared wide-eyed at the door. "That was odd." he murmured.

* * *

That was the day it was all confirmed, and now Jiraiya understood why she was so snippy that day. Snippier than usual. 

"How are we going to tell the old man?" he asked.

"Can we not think about that?" she begged, her nose inhaling the scent of his neck now.

"Whatever you want, hime."

**HAZZAH REVIEW!**

**Tsunade-Hime13**


	2. Anger Amongst the Team

**The Saga continues with Tsunade's crazy pregoness XDD**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any characters cept Tsunade and Jiraiya's SPAWN**

_Chapter 2:_

_Oh joy_ Tsunade thought. Today Jiraiya and Tsunade had the overwhelming joy of telling the Third Hokage about their baby. Yay. Jiraiya had to drag Tsunade by the arm to get her to go, which is very hard because a pregnant woman can pack a punch. "I don't want to!" She whined, trying to pull her wrist from Jiraiya's grip.

"Tsunade, it's not that bad." He said, pulling her along, he got to the door of the Hokage's office, opened it, and tried to drag her in. She grabbed the doorway with her other hand. "No, no, no!" she exclaimed. "Tsunade, stop being a baby."

The old man had been sitting at his desk, watching the two in curiosity. Orochimaru was there, too, and he turned in his seat to watch the commotion. Tsunade managed to slip back behind the doorway to hide. Jiraiya scowled. "Excuse her, she's just a little shy."

Shy? Tsunade was never shy, and the other two could tell you that. Both raised their eyebrows. "Um, okay." Sarutobi said, he got up from his desk and walked towards the door. "Tsunade? What's wrong?" he asked.

"Him!" Her arm became visible, and it pointed accusingly at Jiraiya. "Me?!" the white-haired man asked. "It was your math skills!" This was true, Tsunade had made a miscalculation in her monthly cycle.

The woman reappeared in the doorway, her face had "Really pissed off pregnant woman" all over it. "So now it's _my_ fault?!"

"Yeah, it is!" he shot back.

"NO ONE SAID YOU HAD TO BE APART OF IT!"

"SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU, BUT I'M NOT SOME DEAD-BEAT!"

The loud yelling from the two kept going for a couple minutes. You couldn't really tell what they were saying because their voices were shouting at the same time. Orochimaru rolled his eyes. The third sighed. "Guys." he said, the yelling continued. The man became slightly irritated. "ENOUGH!" He yelled, and the two expectant parents ceased their fight, and looked at the third.

"What?" they asked.

"Now, calmly, tell me what you have to tell me"

"I'm pregnant!"

"She's pregnant!" This was said at one time. Their former sensei's eyes blinked. Orochimaru had to suppress his creepy laughter. "Pr-pregnant?" the snake-like man sputtered. "With _your_ baby? Oh, that's rich." his laughter coated with hisses. "Orochimaru, that's enough." Sarutobi warned.

"Enough? Ha! Jiraiya was about as _enough _of an idiot as the village needed, now his spawn will add to the idiocy!"

Tsunade's lip quivered. Jiraiya's fist clenched. "Orochimaru, if you don't shut the hell up I swear to god I'll-"

"What? You'll hit me? I'm so afraid, Jiraiya." Orochimaru replied sarcastically. The other man growled. Tsunade put her tiny hand on his broad shoulder. "Jiraiya, don't." she begged.

"No way, Tsunade," he said. "He can get away with insulting me, but not our baby."

"Please, don't." Her voice shaky, and Jiraiya turned to watch a tear roll down her cheek. "Tsunade . . ."

"That's enough, you two." Sarutobi said, placing an arm around Tsunade. "She doesn't need you to add to her stress." Tsunade sniffed, and Sarutobi lead her from the room. The blonde wiped her eyes, and sat in a chair outside the office with her old Sensei. "You should know by now not to mind them." he said.

"I know . . ."

He smiled genuinely, and added, "I congratulate you two."

"Thanks Sarutobi-sensei." she said quietly.

"Aren't you happy?" he asked. She smiled a bit.

"Yes. Then part of me says 'You dumbass what would possess you to raise a child in a time of crisis?'" She meant the war. The logical part of Tsunade's mind always picked at her for that little fact. She stood up, and paced. "And I mean, I'm 19 I have plenty of life ahead of me, and why the hell am I telling you all this?"

He chuckled. "Probably because you have no one else to talk to about it. Now stop pacing, you need to stay off your feet so much."

"I'm only two months, it's not like I'm 7 months."

"Ah, but Tsunade you're a medic, you should know what little things can cause a miscarriage so early."

She sighed, and sat back down. "That's true." She paused, and allowed herself to think. Her mind was in a huge jumble of confusion. What if there were complications? Could she and Jiraiya take care of a kid? Did she have the patience for that? Another sigh.

"I'll place you on leave when you're further along, for now you'll stay here doing minor medical work."

"While Jiraiya and Orochimaru are on the front lines? And other Shinobi for that matter!" she whined.

"Either that or kill yourself and your baby." He said seriously. He knew it was harsh, but he knew it would get the message across.

"Fine." Tsunade knew it was the truth. The door to the office opened with Jiraiya and Orochimaru walking out. Orochimaru scowled and folded his arms, while Jiraiya looked at Tsunade apologetically. She could tell that he was sorry just by the look in his eyes. How she loved them. "I'm sorry, Hime." He said, and nudged Orochimaru hard in the arm. "Umph! . . .S. . .sorry, Tsunade." Orochimaru hissed.

She smiled. "Forgiven." she stood up to stand beside Jiraiya. He was much taller than she was. Much, much taller. He had to bend down quite a bit to peck her on the lips.

Sarutobi smiled. "Congratulations, again. Come on, Orochimaru we have to find you two a replacement for Tsunade." He stood and began walking down the hall.

He nodded, and slithered after the Hokage. Jiraiya wrapped his arm around Tsunade's shoulders. "So," he began. "My place or your's?" He meant for living arrangements. That had been the topic of the week, besides telling the third that Tsunade was pregnant. Jiraiya highly doubted that Tsunade would want to move from her parent's old house, which had plenty of room since it was just her and Nawaki.

Tsunade shrugged. "Mine, I guess."

He grinned his large, pervy grin. "Do I get to share a room with you?"

"If you're lucky." she teased as they walked out of the building, and down the streets of Konoha. He pouted. "Come on, aren't you supposed to have raging pregnant hormones?"

"I didn't say I didn't have them, I just want to tease you."

"Touche, my little java bean."

She shoved his chest lightly, and smiled. "Idiot."

"But I'm your idiot." He grinned.

**YAY!!! I would like to thank all my reviewers and everyone who faves and alerts. I really appreciate it. It really motivated me to update!**

**Tsunade-Hime13**


	3. Sweet Caroline

**w00t! Thanks for all of your reviews, and thank you Brandi for helping me write this chapter. -sits on Brandi- My thinkin' friend XD.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything else except this plot, and teh bambino (XD) I don't own "Abbey Road" or "Sweet Caroline" those are The Beatles and Neil Diamond's**

_Chapter 3:_

Tsunade reached her arm up to a cabinet in the kitchen. "Must. Have. Favorite. Cup." she urged. Her hand just grazing the handle of her favorite cup. The black mug with Abbey Road plastered on it. "Just a little bit- FUCK!" Her finger tip had pulled it too far out, and it came tumbling through the air. She closed her eyes. The poor woman could not watch the cup go into pieces. She reopened her eyes. She had heard no shatter. A large, familiar, calloused hand held it in the air. She squealed happily. "You saved the Beatles."

Jiraiya smiled. The cup in one hand, and a moving box in the other. She latched her arms around his neck, and then took the mug to place it on the counter. "My Hero." He laughed. "You've had this thing forever, shouldn't you get a knew one?" he asked.

"No! Have you bumped your head?"

He gave another chuckle, and placed the box on the floor. Tsunade glanced down at it. "So, how much crap are you going to fill my house with?"

"Well, my porn will take up at least a r-" She cut him off with a smack of her hand on his shoulder.

"Kidding, Tsunade-Hime! I was only kidding!"

Tsunade sighed. "Need any help, smart ass?" she asked.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't let you help."

She looked outraged. "And why not?"

"Because you're pregnant, now go take a nice bath or something. I can handle this." He kissed the top of her head gingerly.

"Fine." she grumbled. Jiraiya smiled, and shooed her off to her room. Tsunade pouted, as she started her shower. She stood beneath the warm water. _I wish he'd just let me help, geez_ she thought. She lightly hummed, as she showered. A nice sweet smelling soap coating her figure. She quickly rinsed herself off, and stepped from the shower. She grasped at her towel, and wrapped it around herself.

Tsunade's hair turned dark brown from the water. She stood in front of her mirror, and shook her hair out. The strands all strung out widely, she smirked, and grabbed her hair brush. _"Where it began, I can't begin to knowin'. But then I know it's growin' strong." _she sang, and shook her hips. Then she skipped over to the chorus. _"Sweet Caroline, good times never been so good."_

"Do you always sing into a brush in your towel, or just when a handsome man moves in?" A voice asked, she yelped, and turned quickly. "J-jiriaya!"

He chuckled. "I didn't think you were a Neil Diamond fan."

She glared. "I'm not! I just like that song!"

"Uh-huh. Admit it, you like Neil Diamond." The two had many disputes on whether Neil Diamond or the Beatles were better. Tsunade liking the Beatles of course. "The Beatles could kick Neil Diamond's sorry ass!"

"Yep, that's why you were just dancing to a Neil Diamond song in your towel, right? I heard no _Yellow Submarine _or_ Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds._"

"You're so frustrating!" she yelled. He laughed, it was so cute to watch her get angry over nothing. "I have a bet for you." he said.

"Bet?" she asked curiously. "What kind of bet?"

"I bet it's boy, and if it is you have to listen to all my Neil Diamond 8-tracks."

"And if it's a girl?"

"I have to listen to all your Beatles 8-tracks."

Tsunade frowned. She knew how much he loathed the Beatles. "You're on!"

"Kiss on it."

"Fine." She stood on her tip toes and kissed him passionately. He smiled, and kissed her back, leading her from the bathroom to her bedroom, and laying her gently onto the bed. She giggled. "Jiraiya, you said kiss on it, not have sex on it."

"Who said I wasn't kissing?" he said, kissing her small neck.

"That is a very good point."

He smirked, and kissed the slope of her shoulder. His hand moved to her stomach, where he only removed enough of her towel to see her slightly bulging tummy. He placed a gentle kiss on it. She smiled. "You have to be a boy, okay?" he said. "She has to suffer through Neil Diamond, actually, I just want to see her dance in her towel again."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "It better be a girl."

**WEEEEEEEE! Review**

**Lucy: TTTT God Momma-Tsunade where am I?**

**You weren't born yet so slow yo' roll**

**-Tsunade-hime13**


	4. Someone's Having Mood Swings!

**Hi! New chapter, and I have a couple things to say**

**Brandi mentioned that the story needs fanart. I have NO problem with fanart. However, if you are going to do fanart for this story and post it anywhere please put the link to this story where you post it. Send me a link too! I'd love to see it! **

**I've done a few fanarts myself and I'll post links ASAP**

**I'm out like a gay boyscout XD. I'm just kidding, I have no room to talk. -is Bi-**

**And I want a PM or review stating what gender you think the baby will be. I MUST have these before I post chapter 5**

_**Chapter 4:**_

"I really see no point in this." Tsunade mumbled. She stood beside a wall in the room that was intended for the baby, Jiraiya had taken a piece of chalk and traced Tsunade's profile on the wall. He wrote "2 months" where her stomach was drawn. The walls had a gender-neutral green paint on them, that way if it was a boy or a girl they wouldn't have to repaint. Tsunade had watched Jiraiya and Nawaki paint it. Other than that, there wasn't much to the room yet. "There is a point." Jiraiya said with a grin. "To keep track of how big-" he stopped, trying to choose his words carefully because her eyes flared with anger. "How big the baby gets!" he finished.

"You were going to say how big I get!" she shouted.

"Tsunade, I didn't mean-"

"Well, when I'm huge and unattractive, just remember who made me that way!" she stomped off.

"Now, Tsunade," he called after her, and followed her to where she stood in the living room, just folding clothes because she'd rather busy herself with something rather than nothing. "I'm sorry." he said remorsefully. "I won't do it if you don't want to." She looked up from the shirt of Nawaki's she was folding, and smiled. "Oh, I think it's a cute idea."

He raised an eyebrow. "But you just said-"

"Oh, that's just mood swings, sweetheart." she said affectionately, and she set the shirt down, patted his cheek and went into the kitchen.

"I am so confused." he muttered, placing his hand on his forehead. Nawaki peeped out from around the corner. "Is she out of her angry rampage?" he asked. Jiraiya nodded. He sighed in relief. "Good, she was so mad she almost threw her Abbey Road mug at me."

"The mug? She almost threw _the _mug?"

Nawaki nodded. "She's one angry pregnant lady."

Jiraiya sighed. "How are we going to survive the next 7 months?"

"We? I'm hoping I can get housing so I don't have to worry about surviving!"

Jiraiya glared at him. "Ha! You're funny, Nawaki!" he said sarcastically.

Meanwhile, Tsunade sat in the kitchen. A bowl of strawberry ice cream sat in front of her. She ate it happily. "Yum." she said smugly. The father and uncle of her child stood in the doorway of the kitchen, staring wide eyed at her. "What?" she asked, her mouth full of ice cream. Not only was it ice cream, but chunks of pickles as well. "Want some?" She offered, holding out her bowl. They shook their heads slowly. "You do know there's pickles in that, right?" Jiraiya asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"Nee-chan, that's g-" Jiraiya slapped a hand over Nawaki's mouth. "Say anything, Nawaki, and you DIE by hands of pregnant woman." he whispered. Tsunade waited for Nawaki to finish his sentence.

"That's great!. . .Nee-chan. . ." he said slowly.

"I know, isn't it?" Tsunade said excitedly as she continued eating. "I think I'll go train now. . ." Nawaki said, still slightly creeped out by Tsunade's choice of food. "Bye, Nawaki!" she yelled happily, as he left the house. She turned to Jiraiya. "Good, he's gone." she purred. She stood up from her chair. "Um, Tsunade?" He asked. He was standing right across from her, the table just between them. "Mmhm?" she crawled up onto the table towards him. "I-I kind of have to-" Tsunade placed a finger on his lips.

"I am so hot for you right now." she hummed, as she unbuttoned her shirt. Jiraiya stared at her. He was beginning to like this pregnancy thing. She smirked, her blonde hair framing her face beautifully. She tugged on a lock of his silky white hair. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she kissed him passionately. Her shirt half-way off, showing off her black bra. He kissed her back, and leaned her on top of the table. She giggled as he kissed her neck.

"Oh my god!" Nawaki yelped. The two turned to stare at him. "I forget my kunai, I come back, and I find my sister about to get screwed out of her mind, gross!"

He grabbed his weapon pouched, and quickly left. Tsunade and Jiraiya burst into laughter. "I really should be going myself, Tsunade." he said.

"Come on, just a quickie." She said, running her hands on his broad, muscular shoulders.

"Now, this is different. Isn't it supposed to be me begging for sex?"

She grabbed the collar of his dark blue turtle neck. "You know you want to." she said seductively.

Jiraiya shuddered. "Okay, I do."

* * *

Orochimaru snorted. "You're late." 

"Sorry, snakey." Jiraiya shot back. "I was busy getting laid."

"Yeah right, Tsunade would never-"

"Oh, yeah, that's why she's pregnant right?"

"You never know. She never did say it was your's did she?"

Jiraiya glared. "Orochimaru, you've really been pissing me off lately, don't make me kick your ass."

The other man gave a snort. "Oh that's a laugh."

The white-haired man grabbed the other by the shirt. "I can do it now or later, you decide." he said through his teeth. "Don't you ever insult Tsunade, or my baby."

"Jiraiya!"

The man looked beyond Orochimaru, and let him go. Sarutobi stood there with Sakumo Hatake, a man with spiky silver hair, and a mask. "This is who will be on your team for your next mission." he said. Sakumo gave a slight wave. "And I suggest you stop trying to beat the crap out of Orochimaru."

Jiraiya grumbled. He really did despise that snake-like man.

**W00t!**

**Tsunade-Hime13**


	5. Octopus's Garden with You

**I need to vent my frustrations. I don't know if it's just coincidence or not, but this biting of fanfictions really must stop. I wrote this story because it would be different, vastly, and maybe it still will be. However, it irritates me to the highest extremes that after I began Of Pickles and Ice Cream a slew of fanfictions started rolling in about Tsunade being pregnant. It may be different from mine, but it's just irritating that after someone starts something some of you feel the need to bite off of it. It hasn't just happened with my fanfic either. **

**I've noticed the plethora of TsuJir Lemons roll in on the site after Entrenched wrote "Roughened". Which was a fantastic lemon. Believe me if you would stop biting of other's ideas your fanfictions would be a lot better, and some of us would like to continue writing. Due to this onslaught of biting, I have even considered completely distancing myself from Fanfiction altogether. **

**It is unfair that our creative ideas get bitten off. Then again, I won't let you uncreative, terms that I will not say here, stop me from making my work. I'm just making it known that I am absolutely appalled by most fanfictions nowadays that lack depth, continuity, and originality. And I'm not saying I'm the cats ass or anything, I know I have flaws as well, but I don't go copying ideas from other authors. So do not respond to this message of how I may be being a bitch or something because I am entitled to my own opinion**

**All I'm saying is that Fanfiction is a lot different than it was 2 years ago when I started. I believe that a lot of the fanfiction today except for the few (and you know who you are because I definitely review and favorite you. Genial Hinata, Entrenched, and Hououza whom I adore reading there work and I give them great applause for their amazing fictions). There are other authors whom I love but those being among my favorite TsuJir authors and I wish to applaud them, for I truly could never match them, and I realize that.**

**There, now that's taken care of, I hope you enjoy this next chapter. **

* * *

_Okay, Tsunade, you can do this,_ she thought. _You can master it. _The instrument was propped up on her lap, and touching her slightly bulging tummy.

Ah, yes, our dear pregnant princess is playing a guitar. Determined is she, who loves the best band of all time, to master _Across the Universe._ She played the first couple of notes, finger picking for you cannot play the beginning of the song using a pick. Her slender fingers curled around the strings, striking them just the right way. "Ah ha!" she exclaimed.

"Too bad it's the only song you can play on the damned thing, my dear." Jiraiya said to her. He was putting together a crib.

"Hey, but I can play it." she retorted.

"Try _Blackbird._"

She glared at him from atop her stool; she sat on cross-legged. "I can't stand you."

He laughed. "Ah, yes, that's why you're having my baby."

She opened her mouth, and raised a finger. It wagged slightly, and then she said, "Alright, I'll give you that one."

Jiraiya laughed again. "Quit laughing at me, and get me food." she demanded. He stood and said, "Well, what do you want that you won't change in 5 seconds?"

She looked up at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and the instrument in her lap. "That depends. . ." she looked up at him with a pout. "If you love me you'll make me ice cream. . . with pickles. . ."

"Oh Tsunade, did you really pull the 'If you love me' card?"

She nodded. He sighed. "Alright, I'll make the ice cream."

"Yes!"

He broke her hold and strolled out into the kitchen, taking an ice cream scoop, and scooping out some strawberry ice cream. _I don't know how she eats this stuff, _he thought as he placed the pickles in it.

When he walked back into the nursery, Tsunade was busying herself with something. "Tsunade, what in God's name-" he stopped, for she had opened up a can of paint. "I leave for 5 minutes, and you're opening paint? You really shouldn't be inhaling those fumes-"

Tsunade walked over took a bit of her ice cream and then took a glob of blue paint in her hand. He eyed her suspiciously. "Tsunade, what are you doing?"

"This," she replied, as she threw it at the wall that had no furniture put upon it yet. His eyes widened. "Are you insane?"

"Are you completely boring, Jiraiya?" she retorted, taking a glob of a different color and splashing that too. She then wrote something on a blank spot. He shook his head_. Octopus's Garden_. "Did you know that Octopuses (A/N: is it octopi? My spell checker is telling me it isn't -shrug-) spend their days making garden's out of rocks?" she whispered as she wrote it.

"No, why?" he asked still holding the bowl of ice cream.

She continued. "Doesn't it just sound like the happiest thing? That's all they do. . .make gardens. . .Why aren't people like that?"

"We aren't octopuses, Hime."

"Yeah, well, maybe we should be!" she said with a sniff.

He placed the bowl on the stool, and walked towards her. "Hey, hey now." he said softly, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "What's gotten you so upset?"

She sniffed, and touched her stomach. "Maybe if we were more like them we'd have a better world for kids. . ." she used her unpainted hand to wipe her eyes.

"Tsunade, come on, don't cry." he said, placing his large hand on her head to stroke her stunningly blonde hair. The woman immediately perked up. "You're right, I don't why

I get so worked up over things. Oh! Ice cream!" Breaking free of his hold, she grabbed the bowl from the stool, and began eating.

Jiraiya's mouth dropped, and he looked over to the wall with Tsunade's measurements. _Five more months to go._

**I hope you enjoyed, despite my rant**

**Tsunade-Hime13**


	6. In My Ears and In My Eyes

**So finally an update. Review guys. I know I don't deserve it but over the next few days I hope to update a lot.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Naruto**

"Come on, Jiraiya. I'm going to be late." Tsunade said impatiently as she urged him out of the door.

"Sorry, Hime," he said. "I forgot brushing your teeth was no longer an excuse for being late."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be a wise ass." She began to walk, dragging Jiraiya on with her, rather quickly towards the hospital for her next sonogram. When she finally decided to just slow down, Jiraiya fell into step next to her.

The blue summer sky was clear, and children were playing and eating popsicles to relieve themselves of the heat. Tsunade looked to her left and noticed a friend of hers walking from a beauty parlor. The woman met eyes with her. "Hey! Tsunade, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Oh my, what a glow you have!"

They stopped and Tsunade smiled at her friend. "Hey, Tsukino. Thanks. You work here now?"

"Oh yeah," Tsukino said. "Apprentice for now. The guy who runs this has shown me pictures of like every person's hair he's ever cut in Konoha. Anyway, where are you two off to?"

"We're going to have my ultrasound today."

"Oh my god! You have to come and show me. Promise?"

"Promise. Well, we better be off. Nice seeing you."

"Totally. Bye Tsunade, bye Jiraiya."

Tsunade waved and continued their walk. "You women," Jiraiya said. "Always have to say 'hi' to each other."

"Oh be quiet, I haven't seen her in ages." she said playfully as he placed his arm around her shoulders.

When they finally reached the hospital, Tsunade checked in and sat in a chair reading and old magazine. Jiraiya shivered. "I hate this place." he grumbled.

"Oh, please. As a shinobi, you're here all the time." she responded, never taking her eyes off one of the articles.

He shifted a little in his seat. A young woman exited one of the offices and dismissed another patient. She had long silvery hair, and her eyes were of a light blue almost as if they were translucent. "Tsunade, get your happy ass in here," she grinned. Tsunade smiled back and lead Jiraiya to the woman. "Oh, Yumina, I'm so excited."

"I know you are. Now go on and lay down." She glanced at Jiraiya. "So I hear my husband is my best friend's replacement."

"You're Sakumo's wife?"

"Oh yes. He tells me everyday about how you and Orochimaru bicker."

Tsunade quirked a brow. "I thought you and Orochimaru decided you wouldn't bicker," she stated. Jiraiya looked rather sheepish, like a puppy about to be put outside for doing wrong.

"W-well, you know us guys. We have man differences."

"Uh huh."

Yumina smiled and went into her office. They followed her.

"I didn't even know the guy was married," Jiraiya whispered to Tsunade. "To be honest he's a little strange."

"Oh shut up. He's very nice."

Yumina laughed. "I know my husband is a little odd. Have a seat, my dear."

Tsunade did so and shifted a little. "Weird to be on the other side of the stethoscope." It was very odd for her. Like one who has always been a bridesmaid and never a bride. She looked down at the tiny bulge on her stomach. The proverbial anthill into a mountain. How such a small being could influence so much of life. Now that she thought about it, everything in life revolved around babies. You had them to make more shinobi in the world. You had them if you enjoyed raising them. You had them to carry on gene pools. An essential source of life resided in her, for whatever reason. "Oh my god." she gasped.

"What's the matter, Tsunade?" Yumina asked as she rummaged around the room for her gel.

"Oh," she said, realizing she had spaced out. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong."

Jiraiya sat with his arms folded across from her and gave her a quizzical look. Tsunade was hard to read nowadays.

"Here we are," the doctor said as she pulled out her bottle of ultrasound gel. "Get ready. It's cold. Well, you've done this before to other people so I suppose you knew that already."

She rolled a bit of Tsunade's yellow shirt up around her protruding abdomen, and squeezed the bottle with all her might to get the last bits out of it. "Lucky you," she said. "You won't have to live with the stench too long." She grabbed the little transponder that was hooked up to the monitor. "Hold on to your panties, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

Tsunade rolled her eyes playfully as Yumina began to scan for the other life form. "Oh!" she squealed. "There it is."

Jiraiya squinted and leaned forward towards the screen. "Looks like a blob to me."

"Well, congratulations, Jiraiya. Your blob has your big head." Yumina jabbed.

"Oh ha ha."

"Very healthy from what I see. No signs of anything life threatening."

"Really?" Tsunade asked hopefully, and Jiraiya took her hand.

"Of course, you're a baby making machine."

Tsunade smiled and just looked at the monitor. She always wondered why women got so emotional at these things. As Jiraiya had said, they were just blobs, but she realized now. Even if you couldn't make out eye color or whether it had your father's nose, it was just enough to know that it was okay. At this realization Tsunade had to bite her lip to keep from tearing up.

"Well," Yumina said. "That's it. Unless you want to know the sex of the-"

"No!" Jiraiya said.

"Yes!" Tsunade exclaimed at the same time. They stared at each other a while. "Jiraiya, I don't want it to be a surprise. I would like to know."

"But it'll be more fun if it's a surprise."

"Only for you! You just want to prolong your punishment if I win the bet."

He shrugged and grinned that boyish grin.

"I'll just keep it in your file," Yumina said. "It'll be surprise." She jotted down some notes on her notepad and shoved them into a file she had produced from her cabinet.

"B-but. . ." Tsunade stuttered. "I want to know."

"I think you can wait just a little bit." She responded with a twinkle in her eye. "I'll leave you two alone. You can leave whenever you like." She bid them farewell and left the room, with Tsunade's beloved file. Tsunade grabbed a napkin and wiped the gunk off her stomach. She shoved her shirt back down and began rifling through the cabinets.

"Tsunade," Jiraiya said. "What are you doing?"

"I want to know what my baby is, and _I'm_ carrying it, so _I_ should get to see."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"Will you love it any less?"

Tsunade stopped. Stupid Jiraiya and his profound words of wisdom that he came up with from time to time. She knew he was right. It didn't matter what gender it was. It would be loved all the same. "Sometimes," she began. "I think you should be a writer."

"Really?" He asked with pride in his tone. "I was thinkin' about it."


End file.
